The Journey

Running, running, it seems that’s all I did, and I could run, faster then the wind, sometimes faster then my own shadow. Every time I went down close to the shore I saw them: ships, big ships, tied up on shore. My mom had told me never go close to the shore because there were men, evil men who would try to catch us and take us aboard those big ships. I stayed as far away from them as I could. I tried to stay where I could see them but they couldn’t see me. It wasn’t much longer before I was to be married.

Everything was being prepared, the food and all of the trimmings. Most of the tribe had their mates picked for them. My chosen mate and I were deeply in love. I couldn’t wait to have his strong black body lying close to mine. Just three more days and we would be together forever. God! How I loved him! It was the custom for the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be to go up on the mountain facing the river. They would pick wild flowers together and exchange them before the wedding.

The day before the wedding we went hand and hand to the top of the mountain to pick the wild flowers. We played and teased each other all the way. We stopped to take in all the beauty around us. And then, as if the sky was falling, we were surrounded by beasts that we had never seen before. We tried to run but there was nowhere to run. The river was to our back and the cliff had too many jagged edges to try to jump. Before we could turn around good we were shackled, tied up and marched right in front of the village. We didn’t know what was going on or where we were going.

It seems we walked miles and miles until we got to the little houses that sit right on the river. Then, we saw there were lots and lots of different tribes there. They separated us right away and put him in with the men and me in with the women. They were all weeping and I began to weep too. There was not one person there who spoke my language. I couldn’t talk to anyone. We almost had nothing to eat, except a little corn mixed with water. We could hear the men talking but we couldn’t understand what they were saying. No one slept that night. By the next morning we were herded to the ships. I caught a glimpse of my love as we were hurried along. His eyes were looking into mine and I wept.

As soon as we were aboard the ship, they put all the men down in the lower part of the ship and the women and children on the top deck. Immediately when the shackles came off of me, I ran like the wind. I was going home, but before I could jump overboard hands were pulling me back, dragging me back from a sure death.

The rocking of the ship had us all sick and throwing up all over the deck. The stench was terrible. I wept often. I wept for my land, my mom, my family; I wept in fear of not knowing what was going to happen. There was no way any of us could get away. We were a people of the same color, but not the same language. The men had us cook, serve, and bed them. There was no way around it. The men never were allowed to come up for air. They were packed so close together in the bottom of the ship that they couldn’t move. Days and nights blended together. I don’t know how many days we were at sea.

When we landed on the shores of Virginia, I was already pregnant. We were placed on the block to be sold; I was worth more because there would be two of us. The man who bought me also bought my love. My love and I never acknowledged each other. The man bought 10 of the men and 10 of the women. Was I going to be with my love after all? The wagon was waiting to take us to the plantation. The men walked behind the wagon chained like animals. We were chained too, but not as harshly as the men. If I could just run, but where would I go? I don’t know where I am. We were all tired and hungry, but all we got was a little water. I thought about my land where fruit was growing on the trees and you could eat as much as you wanted. Will I ever get back? Will I?

It didn’t take long for us to get to the plantation from where we were. It seemed a long way with all the bumpy roads. When we finally arrived there were little make shift shacks that seemed to be waiting on us. As soon as we got there, the men that were guarding us pulled us out of the wagon and took the chains off. Then they paired us off. There was one woman for each man. For a moment I got happy. Maybe, just maybe, I may get paired with my love. It was not to be. I was paired with someone else and so was he. His cabin was at least five down from mine. The man whom I was paired with did not speak my language, but we had to go in the cabin and live like husband and wife. We went inside and fell asleep. It seemed like we were up before we went to sleep good.

The men took us out on the plantation and showed us what we had to do. We had to work from sun up to sun down. We had a little mush for breakfast and later for dinner. I don’t know how we managed to survive on that, but we did. Before I knew it I was having my baby or should I say the plantation owners baby. He owed all of us. What we didn’t expect was my having a completely white baby. Even my husband didn’t expect that. He thought I was pregnant before they captured me. The plantation owner took my baby right away and gave my son to his wife for she was barren. How could he snatch my baby from my arms so ruthlessly? I found out later that kind of stuff came easy to them. My husband and I soon learned how to talk to each other and I was soon pregnant again. In the meantime, my love was also a father. He had a little boy that should have been mine. The plantation owners were pleased with us but thought nothing of selling our children away. All together I had 8 children and 5 were sold away from me. My love had 7 children and all 7 were sold away from him.

The years went by and I watched my son grow up in the master’s house. I also felt the sting of his whip for he did not know I was his mother. Sometimes, when I didn’t move fast enough or didn’t pick enough cotton he whipped me. He was meaner than his pa or ma. He was just as mean as the man on the ship who had fathered him. They had taught him well.

Time passed and soon my old love died. When I looked at his wife weeping over his grave, I wondered if she knew about the many nights my love and I sneaked out to be with each other. Did she know that some of my children were his also? I hoped she didn’t for that would put an even worse burden on her. As time went on my husband died as well. The old Massa and his Misses died. And then, my son became Massa.

Massa was cruel. He beat the slaves every chance he got. We never had enough to eat and he sold children away from their mothers as soon as they were big enough to do work. Selling slaves kept him wealthy. There were rumors that Massa was going to take a bride. We were glad. We thought that maybe he would soften a little. Then one day he rode out and returned with a bride. She was just as mean as he was.

Later we could see that she was pregnant. As the months went by she was getting bigger and bigger. Then one night she sent for me. I was the midwife, the one who delivered all the babies. When I got there, she was almost ready to have the baby and then I gave one hard push across her stomach and the baby was out. The baby was as black as I was. Of course, he was my grandson. Angrily, my son walked over to where he kept all of his guns. He took one of his guns and killed his wife and their baby.

Massa ran outside in a rage and lined all the black men up. He was going to shoot all of them. I grabbed one of his guns that was hanging on the wall and ran behind him. I aimed the gun at the back of his head and pulled the trigger. I killed my own son. The men dragged the overseer from his horse and killed him too. We burned all of their bodies.

We tried to get some sleep that night. The next morning we all woke with such a ruckus: someone was coming on horse back in a blue uniform. How could they find out so soon? We were all afraid. The man in the blue uniform asked where was our Massa? We said we didn’t know. He said that our massa probably ran off when he saw him coming. “I came to tell you that your people are free, just as free as I am. This is your house and your land.”

And this is where I live today.

Maple