Unnaturally Nice

Remember when you were a little girl and you came home all smiling and giggling and all unnaturally nice? You remember. You had your hair platted with the tiny rubber bands on the tips and you were wearing that clear nail polish because that’s all you were allowed to wear at that time. You looked good, too, dressing the way you dressed in the style of the day. What were you wearing? Was it a mini-skirt, blue jeans and blouse, daisy dukes? Doesn’t even matter. You know you looked good because he said you looked good. Yes, he said it and it was all that mattered. You see; you were in love. Don’t front like you don’t remember. You don’t want to remember. Let me remind you of how it went down.

You were behaving so unnaturally nice that it caught the attention of yours truly, your mama. She said, “Girl, what’s wrong with you?” You said nothing at first but Mama wouldn’t let it go. Mama could see the glow. You know, the glow. They say a woman kinda beams when she’s in love. Finally, you broke down and said, “Mama, I met this boy and he is so wonderful!” You went on to describe him and talked about how tall he is and how he towers over the other boys. You talked about his smile and how it seemed to radiate and drink you right in. Your mother just smiled. You talked about how he styled his hair and reflected on how good he looked when he was bald. You remember because you touched his head once. You talked about how muscled he is and how strong he must be since he was able to lift you…….And, you cut yourself off. You were lost in the moment and gave away too much information. It was time to retreat.

Mama smiled when she saw how happy her little girl was and how unnaturally nice her little girl could be. Mama said, “I’m happy for you child.” Mama stirred about and told a story of her own. She talked about how she met a fella when she was a young girl and how innocent they all were. Then, as if some distant memory came racing back, Mama turned towards you and asked a pivotal question, “What’s the boy’s name?”

Still gushing and glowing and drowning in ignorance you didn’t see what was about to happen. You answered Mama loudly and proudly proclaimed his name. Mama took the name in slowly and took a deep breath. She went to say something but she held back. She thought for just a second and asked another question, “What’s that boy’s mama and daddy named?” Again, you didn’t see it coming and you answered Mama loudly and proudly and proclaimed their names. There was only one thing left for Mama to say:

“Girl, that’s your cousin!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The moral to this story: Know your people. This story is a compilation of all the stories that I have heard since I was a young boy. And yes, we seem to be kin to everybody and anybody. Amongst our people kinship doesn’t run out. We are cousins no matter if it is the first or the 15^th. So, before you date the uncle that you didn’t know you had, before you marry the grandchild from your great aunt’s first marriage, find out about your folks.

Remember, if you and your husband really really do look alike it might not be a coincidence! J

Trey Hawkins